Scott Alexander’s Super Awesome Vegan Rockstar Chocolate Chip Cookies!

 

The best way to eat these cookies when Scott gives them out at his performances. But if you need more, you can always try this:

While listening to “Make A Difference” on Scott Alexander Makes Mistakes

Stir:

3 sticks (1 and half cups) of non-hydrogenated margarine. “Earth Balance” or “Soy Garden” is easy to find and works well. DO NOT USE “light” margarine! It’s half water and will totally make you and your cookies cry.

2 ¼ cups of organic dark brown sugar. (Yeah it doesn’t HAVE to be dark or organic, but sugar quality makes a HUGE difference).

2 Teaspoons of Vanilla Extract. (Get the best vanilla you can find!)

2 Teaspoons of Baking Soda

2 Teaspoons of baking POWDER (we’re working without eggs here people, let it rise!)

1 ½ teaspoons of salt

The equivalent of 3 egg replacers of your choice (sorry, but if you want to know my SECRET Egg Replacer, you’ll have to email me or ask in person.)

2 Tablespoons of canola oil

 

Then:

Get that shit all stirred up nice and soft while listening to “Ethical Pervert” on Scott Alexander Makes Mistakes

 

Add:

1 cup of Flour (you’ll be using a total of 3 1/3 cups of flour, combine unbleached white and white whole wheat pastry flour to the proportions of your whim)

2 packages of vegan chocolate chips (Trader Joe’s generic chips are great, cheap and vegan. Bakers brand Chocolate Chunks and Godiva Semi Sweet and Dark chips are easier to find, but made on shared equipment with dairy, so depending on how anal you are. . . )

Stir that up yo!

Then:

Add 2 1/3 more cups of flour. Gradually, while stirring. If it seems a little dry, add 2-4 tablespoons of soymilk.

Next:

Eat some dough, you deserve it!

Then:

Form the rest of though dough into ping-pong size balls. Be sure to eat more dough and prevent others from stealing your dough while you do this.

Now then:

FREEZE YOUR BALLS! Overnight if possible, longer if convenient. In the meantime, check out my myspace page!

Finally:

You are ready to bake! Preheat the oven to 350° And bake the balls on a greased pan for 9-10 min. Bake only what you’re ready to eat.

At last!

Enjoy these cookies and send me an email to let me know how it turned out!

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 License.